Off the Mat, Into the Flames - Blackhawks 4 - Blues 2

Great game! One of the best ongoing rivalries in sports was rekindled in an exciting, physical contest with a captain fight and questionable hits galore. For the Hawks, it was a really big win against a division opponent. For the Blues, it was further proof that having more hits doesn't mean you win the game. 

The Blackhawks did try to match St. Louis' style of play, taking penalties, and delivering a couple of shady checks. But once Patrick Kane scored late in the 2nd to give the Hawks a 3-2 lead, things settled down and the Hawks played a defensively responsible 3rd period that was boring compared to the fireworks of the first 40 minutes.
 
For reasons unknown even to myself, I've included some biblical throwdown talk in the rest of my analysis, because for at least a night, the righteous have won and the wicked have been defeated. And to those that say the bible has no place in a hockey blog, remember that their throats are open graves, their tongues practice deceit. The poison of vipers is on their lips.






Delicious Cake

-Patrick Kane. Knock knock. Who's there? Patrick Kane. Patrick Kane who? Patrick Kane will rain down blazing coals and burning sulfur on the wicked, punishing them with scorching wristshots! Their stink shall come up out of their carcasses, and the mountains shall be melted with their blood!
 
-Jonathan Toews, the pugilist. Hey David Backes, you think you're just gonna check Hjalmarsson into the boards and not have to step up to our captain's new-found fighting ability? Get real, fuckface! Your hills, your valleys, and your streams will be filled with people slaughtered by Toews' fists. Your cities will never be rebuilt. Then you will know the power of God's true son.


 

So-So Soup

-Breakaways. Can someone other than Artem Anisimov score on a breakaway? Is is too hard to go one-on-one with a goalie over a dozen times and only have 2-3 goals to show for it? The Hawks are getting at least one breakaway chance every game, and they're blowing it. Practice that shit, boys, for those who sharpen their sword take hold of judgment, and will inflict vengeance on their adversaries.    
   

Expired Tuna Salad

-Marko Dano's hit on Robby Fabbri. There is no place in the game for that garbage. A crosscheck to the back of a player facing the boards who doesn't possess the puck is cheap and dirty. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.



-Rozsival and Daley pairing. Hey Q! Yeah, I'm talking to you! DON'T EVER PUT MICHAL ROZSIVAL AND TREVOR DALEY OUT AT THE SAME TIME! You shouldn't combine slow with sucky, Joel. They should take away one of your rings for that dumb shit.


"Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment."


That concludes today's bible study. May we warm ourselves on the slain Flames of Calgary later this eve. Amen.