Islanders at Blackhawks - CHI 4 - NYI 1 - John Tavares Needs Anger Management

I've been thinking about this for a long time. Back in the early 2000's, I used to watch the MTV documentary series True Life. There were some really compelling episodes involving individuals dealing with drug abuse, eating disorders, and emotional problems. And then there were really hilarious episodes where the person being filmed had no idea how much of an ass they were. True Life: I Need Anger Management (skip to 3:30 for the money lines), was one of those amazing episodes. The star of the episode was a guy named Johnny, who's a Brooklyn hothead with no sense of self awareness and a chip on his shoulder the size of a large dog. Now, what does this have to do with the Blackhawks' impressive 4-1 win?  Well, Johnny looks an awful lot like John Tavares, who was dealing with anger issues of his own last night.




And here's a clip of Johnny, a man with zero self awareness and a comical lack of impulse control...





The Hawks dominated the Islanders, causing John Tavares to blow a fuse. Tavares exploded at the refs, earning him a 2 minute unsportsmanlike conduct penalty, and a 10 minute misconduct. Brent Seabrook scored on the ensuing 5 on 3, aided by a stellar cross-ice pass from Teravainen. How'd that outburst work out for ya, Tavi? Rez-dog? I don't know his nickname. All I know is that he was trying to inject some emotion into a thoroughly beaten down group of players. And you might say it worked, with the Islanders scoring a short handed goal shortly after his outburst, ending Scott Darling's bid for his 2nd career shutout.

Delicious Cake

- The Kane-Anisimov-Panarin line should not be fucked with. You hear that, Q? You've got a magic show going on. Just sit back and watch. Along with the Teuvo-Toews-Hossa line, this roster boasts two of the most lethal lines in all of hockey. The 3rd line should be Desjardins-Kruger-Shaw, which saw great success in the playoffs last season. They grind well and are defensively smart. God help the 4th line, made up of spare parts and hot dogs. Bickell-Tikhonov-Garbutt? Garbutt-Baun-Dano? It isn't that bad, but compared to the other lines, the 4th line is an abomination. 

- The 3rd goal, by Patrick Kane, concluded a full 1 minute, 6 second sequence of diabolic wizardry in the Islanders zone. Kane, Anisimov, Panarin, and Van Riemsdyk just earned themselves ice cream sundaes! 

-Scott Darling was fantastic in net. He was aggressive all night, stopping 28 of 29 shots, and thwarted a breakaway from Kulemin. His shutout was snuffed in the final 2 minutes, which was unfortunate, but he looked smooth all night. With the way he played last year in the playoffs, along with some stellar work in the preseason, the Blackhawks officially have a reliable backup.




So-So Soup

- Kulemin's breakaway was made possible by an ugly line change. There weren't any too many men on the ice penalties, though, so improvement?

Expired Tuna Salad

-Oh, Viktor Svedberg, how I loathe thee. Dude can't stay on his feet! It looks like someone puts skates on a daddy longlegs and called it a defenseman. He didn't play like the hot diarrhea of his debut, but an upgrade to lukewarm shit isn't much of an upgrade.

-The Hawks should burn down the power play and collect the insurance.

Final Thought:

If Desjardins had any sort of accuracy to his shot, he'd be a top 6 forward. I love Desi, though. Just wish he had a decent wrister.